How Long After a Breakup Should You Wait Before Dating Again?

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The girlfriend will be crushed because he ended it or perhaps they both agree to give each other some space. I did everything for him and I feel like we both took each other for granted.

I hope that someday soon I can apologize to her for that because she truly did not deserve it. I am trying to take it a day at a time, but sometimes the feelings just consume me. My bf and I were together going on 3 years, but we were the best of friends years before in high school.

What Not to Do After a Breakup

Going through a breakup can be very difficult and stressful, and there's no one way you're supposed to feel about it. Often, you are filled with many confusing emotions at once, and you may wonder if what you're feeling is normal. For a while, you might even become overwhelmed with emotions, but don't worry—it's absolutely normal to feel this way. It's quite a process to let go of a person you really loved. In this article, you will learn about the complicated emotions people commonly experience after a breakup, and—more importantly—how to cope with them. Sometimes, you might even repeat a stage that you've already gone through. Continue scrolling to learn more about each stage and how to cope. Shock and denial go hand in hand. At first, you will feel like you are dreaming. Even if you knew that the relationship was in trouble, you never actually thought that a breakup was possible—your significant other loved you too much to leave. Despite all the bad times, there were many good times. You shared so many wonderful memories that this cannot be real. You tell yourself that your significant other will soon realize that they are wrong and come running back. You can't believe that this is happening to you because you were once the perfect couple. You tend to forget all the bad things or see them through rose-colored glasses. You continually tell yourself that you guys will fix things and everything will be okay. You believe that they will call soon; they must be busy. You tell people that you are not really broken up—you both just need a little time. After a breakup, it's completely normal to feel a burning desire to understand why things happened the way they did. Will i be ok after break up is a very painful stage, as many of the questions people ask themselves after breakups reflect profound feelings of rejection and inadequacy. You may find yourself fixating on things you or your ex said or did—replaying the memories over and over in your head and trying to pull a rational answer from them. You may feel like all you can think about is your ex. The pain and confusion that stems from heartbreak can consume every part of your life, becoming all you think or talk about. You will likely find yourself seeking answers from your coworkers, family, or friends, going over every aspect of the relationship and trying to find logical explanations for why things shouldn't have ended. Agonizing over memories of your relationship, both good and bad, can even cause you to dream of your ex. This, in turn, can affect the quality of your sleep and cause you to wake feeling sadder and more exhausted than you were when you went to bed. Unfortunately, there's no way to fix this—you must simply let it pass with time. The phone has not rung, and it has been quite a while. You are getting over the shock and starting to realize that they might not call. You start to think to yourself that maybe this is real. And that's when fear starts to kick in. You fear that you will be lonely forever. You fear that you will have nobody to talk to. You fear that you will not be able to make it in this big, scary world without them. You fear that when you are sick, there will be nobody there to comfort you. Sadness and depression often kick in when the initial shock wears off. While you may have felt some initial sadness mingling with the shock of the breakup, it truly hits when you start to understand that the split is real. You'll likely want to stay in bed and hide under the covers, feeling lonely, depressed, and sorry for yourself. Talking to friends and family is not an option, and you want nothing to do with what is going on around you. For some reason, you will torture yourself. You will look at pictures of your ex over and over again. You'll tell yourself that you will never be able to find a person who will love you the way will i be ok after break up they did. You'll question if you're good enough and if someone else could ever love you. This stage is a little bit of everything mixed into one. It is the stage where shock, denial, fear, loneliness, and sadness kind of come together. I know that many of us have gone through the crazy stage. This is when you have realized that the breakup is real, but you are not going to let it stay that way. You are going to do everything you can to try to make this person come back into your life. You are willing to do anything if it means being with them again. You may feel compelled to contact your ex and beg to get back together. While this may seem like a good idea, there are many. But it can be very hard to resist getting in touch with your ex. They haven't texted you, so you tell yourself you'll text them. Unfortunately, most people in this stage don't do these things one time and move on—instead, they bombard their ex with calls, texts, emails, and letters and beg for them to respond. You promise them that this time will be different. You promise to make all of the wrongs right. You promise to do anything to make it work. You tell yourself that you're going to make them love you. The outcome of this stage can vary. Because you are setting yourself up will i be ok after break up disappointment, when you don't get the response you were looking for, you might revert back to one of the above stages. Some people will be in denial or feel lonely again, while others will experience more anger. You may obsess over monitoring their social media. If you decide not to contact your ex, or you do and they don't respond, you may resort to obsessively checking their social media accounts. After all, you want to make sure that there are no other significant people in their lives, and the only way you can do that is by constantly looking at will i be ok after break up online activity. If you do go down that rabbit hole, remember that the way people portray themselves on social media isn't always an accurate representation of the way they really feel. So even if it looks like your ex is carefree and living their best life just days or weeks after you break up, that probably isn't the case. In fact, people often post these kinds of photos for the express purpose of making their exes jealous regardless of whether they are the dumper or the dumpee. Sometimes, bargaining can lead to relapse. You may be able to convince your ex to try again especially if yours was an on-again, off-again relationship to begin with. While this will temporarily ease your pain, it will only make things worse if you break up again. No matter how much you wish it were possible, you can't make a relationship work if you're the only one who wants it to. Healthy relationships require effort from both partners, and you can't blame yourself for not being able to uphold a relationship on your own. Now that you have been crying for a while and have not moved from your spot on the bed for weeks, you start to think about all the things that you did for this person. At this point, you need to blame somebody. You are tired of blaming yourself, so it suddenly becomes their fault. You are sick of hearing that song and turn the radio off every time you hear it. You want to rip their picture into a million little pieces and burn it. Though this stage can be emotionally taxing as if all the other ones aren'tit can also be empowering. Anger—whether it's directed toward your ex, yourself, or the situation in general—can put an end to the numbness and make you feel alive again. It can also give you positive direction and help you lift yourself out of your slump. For many, anger is the first step toward healing. Note: While anger can be a healthy stage in the healing process, it's important not to take it too far. Resist the urge to badmouth your ex to his friends and definitely don't pull a and vandalize your ex's car or anything else they own. Burning a picture will i be ok after break up one thing, but damaging property is going too far. Even though you feel as though you will never get to the point of peace, you will. One day you will sit back and realize that you have made it. In spite of the heartache, tears, anger, and fear, you are still alive. Thinking of this person will bring about happy feelings instead of feeling like a knife is cutting through your heart. You will be much stronger than you were before, and you will have learned a lot about what you need and want. A key shift occurs in this stage—instead of looking back, you will start to plan for the future. For the first time in what feels like ages, you will be excited about life and other people again. You will come to the empowering realization that you don't need your ex to be happy because only you can make you happy. You will realize that you are capable of loving again and that you are worthy of being loved. This is a major breakthrough, so you should be proud. There are many and yourselfso as soon as you feel like you can let go of those last traces of bitterness, let it happen. For some, this last step can be difficult because that anger—no matter how toxic—can feel like the last connection with your ex. But cutting that final tether will truly free you and give you the strength to rebuild yourself and move on. Sometimes it can take quite a while to reach this point. Accepting the breakup and coming to terms with why it happened is very different from actually forgiving your ex and—more importantly—yourself, so don't rush it. You will get there, and when you do, you will know that you have well and truly moved on. Nobody can predict exactly how long it will take for the pain to go away, and every person is different, but here are some general tips to help you get through your breakup. Remember the good times and all that the relationship taught you. It is really hard when you have created so many memories and shared so many important details of your life with another person. Letting go is not an easy thing to do. The main goal is to understand that yes, your life will change, but this does not mean you have to forget all the good memories and times you shared with a person. This is a part of you and always will be. Remember what this person has taught you and be thankful that you were able to experience the things that you did. Make an effort to stay healthy throughout the letting go process. You just have to make sure that you keep yourself healthy during these stages. You need to try your best to get advice and support from the people around you. Try to get out of the house and socialize a little. Don't jump right into another relationship or rebound sex. Many people suggest jumping into another relationship or simply seeking rebound sex right after a breakup to get your mind off the other person. At this point, you have many emotions built up, and immediately starting a new relationship will not allow you to heal from this one or give the new relationship a fair shot. Discover what makes you happy and try to be strong. Now's the time to test out that new activity you've been dying to try. Be it baking or boxing, diving into something new can really take your mind off of your ex. Learning something new stimulates your brain and helps start the rebuilding process. It will also boost your self-esteem because you will realize that you are capable of anything you put your mind to. There are so manynot least of which are lowering stress levels and reducing depression. So queue up that and get listening. Lean on your friends and family. When dealing with the roller coaster of emotions involved in recovering from a breakup, it's key to rely on those around you. Whether you reach out for a shoulder to cry on or someone to scream from the rooftops with, spending time with your friends and family can really boost your mood when you're feeling low. While it can be tempting to spend your time alone, and you may even avoid your friends because you don't want to be a downer, your true friends will be there for you through thick and thin. They'll understand your pain and want to do anything they can to make you feel better. Crying after a breakup is will i be ok after break up normal, so if it feels like the tears need to flow, let them. Keeping your emotions bottled up can often make things worse and lead to an uncontrollable outburst at a later date like the first time you see your ex after the split—yikes. Having a good cry can be extremely cathartic even when you aren't dealing with something stressful like a breakup, so it's even more helpful when you are. Know that you cannot make someone love you. After all is said and done, if you still feel that this relationship has a chance, then maybe you and the other person can work on it. But remember you cannot make another person love you. Give them the time and the space they require to get their head straight as well. They have gone through this breakup too, and I am sure they are feeling a whole bunch of different emotions. We tend to be selfish when it comes to these things. This person might be going through the same thing as you. Being overly persistent and clingy is just going to push them away even more. Just because a relationship did not work out does not make you a bad person, and it's important to will i be ok after break up negative self-talk that reinforces that belief or ones like it. Going through a breakup does not mean that nobody will ever love you again. Maybe you did try your best to do all you could for the other person. When you are with another person, remember you are part of a couple. A couple is two people and you are only one of the two. You can only do what you can do, just like the other person can only do what they can do. If you truly love a person, you should want what is best for them. It would not be fair to make a person stay in a relationship that is not fulfilling to them. It does not mean that you are lacking something maybe they are lacking something within themselves and no matter how many things you did for them or no matter how much you loved them, they will never find the satisfaction they are looking for. Unfortunately, there's no magic number when it comes to breakups—no one can say how exactly how long it will take to process your thoughts and feelings. It could take anywhere from weeks to months to heal completely, but it's important not to rush yourself. Give yourself the time required to heal. Let your emotions out and address them. Do not try to pretend like you are okay if you really aren't; this will just prolong the process. Remember that time heals all wounds. Tell yourself you deserve to be happy and really believe it. This is the most important piece of advice I have for you, but it's also the hardest one to follow. Letting go of feelings that you aren't good enough or that you aren't worthy of love can be almost as hard as letting go of your ex, but it is absolutely necessary. Just because someone might have stopped loving you should never stop you from loving yourself. So tell yourself—every day—that you deserve to be happy and believe it. Hi Yaroslav thank you for sharing your story. I see that there is a lot going on. It seems as though she is not sure how she feels at the moment. I think that you may need to step back for a little bit and give her time to figure out what it is she really wants. If you are together and she is not being faithful and giving you her all, then it would not be fair to you. If you can not trust her then the relationship will never work. Again, I think give her some time and space and then talk and figure out what it is that each of you want and expect from the relationship. I was dating with my girlfriend for 2 months, but we knew each other for a year and 3 months before, and both of us felt, there was something between us, but because of distance we tried it really late. During that time I was falling in and out of love with her, but when we finnaly started dating, I felt, thats the person I want to spend my lifetime with, have family and children. I gave everything I could in this relationship. But at some point, I started feeling, like I give much more than I receive and I started being jealous and remembering her about her past relationships, that happenned during time we already knew each other and I knew, that she liked me. I told her, that she probably loved that guy more than me, because when I wanted will i be ok after break up kiss her, she refused me, because she had a boyfriend, and during our relationships, when she went out, I was calling, texting her, trying to reach her out by any possible means, until 4 a. That night she kissed other guy, but never told me about it. On our Skype call, she told me, she is not sure, that she wants to be with me, even though 1-2 weeks ago everything was perfect, and she texted me she misses me so much and waits for me to come to visit. Then we met after a week and had a deal to try to work it out. But then I found out, that on that night, she didnt respond, she actually kissed with a guy, that she liked from before and it wasnt just a stupid drunk thing, but rather a plan, that she implemented, even though she told, she didnt feel much and that she shouldnt have done it, but I was very angry and I told her, that its over, when she tried to talk, I just turned my back on her and left, telling her, what do you want from me, to ever love you again. But the fact is, that I have never stopped loving her. After another week or two with no communication I decided to have a final talk with her, to give our relationships another chance, but she told she isnt sure about her feelings and the same story can happen again, and she doesnt want to hurt me again. I can not understand why all of this happenned, I tried my best, but she wanted to stay with a guy, who previously dumped her, even though she told me that it was not even a relationships, but rather fun, with no future, but with me, person, she told we are meant to be together, because we fit so perfect to each other, she refused me after a couple of little fights and stupid things from my side and made out with other guy, because she allegedly will i be ok after break up in love with him, but then she told it was just something irrational she had done, which she lack in our relationships. How can you ever exchange our love story and the way how I treated her, with all the support and love for a stupid kiss. I am still confused, I already understand, that we are not going to be together anymore, even if she will agree to try some things out, after all of what I have lived through and all of those quarrels. I keep on checking her whatsapp status, last night she stazed up until 3 a. So thats why I am hurt even more. What if she still hangs out with him and has sex. I want to clear things so much. It will not give either of you the time you need to heal. Though it feels like right now you are just trying to do things to keep your mind off of your ex, day by day it will get easier. My boyfriend and I broke up almost a month ago. Tomorrow would have been our 1 year anniversary. We broke up because he's going through some serious mental health issues, and he needed some space. I saw him today, and I asked him if he thought we'd ever date again. He said that he'd just fallen out of love with me. But then he also says that he misses me tremendously, and I can see in his eyes how hurt he is. We're trying to be friends, because as much as this break-up hurts, we didn't end on bad terms and we both very much enjoy each other's company. I'm just feeling so sad, alone, and confused. I don't need him to want to get back together with me, but it hurts to know that my lingering feelings of intense love and care aren't reciprocated. I don't have a lot of other friends where I am I have tons at home, but I'm away at school right nowso I feel even lonelier. I've been trying to socialize, but the people I consider friends here are flaking on me despite knowing how badly I need this right now. I'm having trouble keeping myself busy right now, and all I can think about is the next time I'll see my ex. This is hard, and it's my first serious break-up. I wish we could have talked about this in person. My bf left me few days back because he believes too much in astrology and religions and his grandfather said i will not be a good match for him as they may suffer financial problems if we marry and then one of us may die. We both still love each other a lot and we both cried post breakup but will i be ok after break up says he is leaving me because we dont have a good future together according to his grandfather. After two years of being together its very difficult for me to accept that he left me for such reason. Please help me as inspite of knowing that i will have to forget him now but i cant stop going back to him. About a month ago i broke up with my girlfriend, we agreed we wouldn't hear or see each other for 2 months so we can think about our relationship as a whole and decide whether to continue or put a stop to it. A month has passed and im confused about not feeling anything, it's like im stuck in one place and can't move, don't know what to think. I hate feeling nothing, i don't understand why im not hurting. Maybe because i don't think the relationship is over or im in shock. Hi Fay, I am sorry you are feeling sad. Sometimes we just cannot understand why someone else feels the way they do. All we can do is assure ourselves that we can move on and find happiness again. You may not see it now, but if he is acting like that so early on in the relationship then you probably saved yourself a lot of heartache in the future. Open yourself up to meeting new people. Ithink i should stop texting u cause it seems like u dont care and out of nowhere he replied yes u can. I really liked him and i knew that he liked me too but i cant understand what really happend and that felling is killing me. Hi hurt woman I know that it is so hard to understand but sometimes we just will not understand. What we need to do is realize that the breakup may have nothing to do with us and though during the healing process we will hurt, in the end you will be okay and able to love again. We learn something from every relationship and it sucks when we thought we found the right one, but you will see that you will find something even stronger in the future. Hello, I'm still very heartbroken my ex broke up with me a week ago. We were together for 6 months. Had amazing chemistry, I met his family, he told me he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We made so many future plans together. Then for about a week or so I noticed he was distant but was thinking it was because he was sick. Out of the blue he broke up with me saying i wasn't the one. I asked him over and over what I did wrong and he said nothing, just after a while he changed his mind about how he felt about me. I tried asking him for us to work it out but he wouldn't budge. He was a great guy, but i was also the longest relationship he had in 10 years. There are a million things going on in my head, and i can't stop thinking about it, and the awkward last moment we had of walking away from each other. Broken, I am sorry you are feeling that way. It may help to talk to a professional if you have not yet been able to move on. The one piece of advice I can give you is that you cannot let your ex have a hold over your feelings like that. If you allow yourself to open up you will find that you can let someone else in who can and will love you, but that will not happen until you realize that you are able to love again. Hi Sadness, thank you for sharing. It is normal and okay to think about a past relationship and remember the good times. That is what memories are about, but maybe you also have to start allowing yourself to realize that it is very possible to find happiness and love again. The first thing you have to make sure of is that you are happy with yourself. Being single and without a relationship is not a bad thing. It is a time to grow and learn about yourself. It is a time to love yourself and that will make you that much more ready for a new relationship. Figure out what you love doing alone, and then once you have that down you can start looking for that special someone. Hey you never know when that special someone will come along. Hi Cho, thank you for sharing and I am so sorry you are going through this. Sometimes we just do not understand and nothing really will make us understand. But realize that sometimes we just cannot change the way a person feels. One piece of advice I have for you is to definitely give him his space. I know it is hard not to think about all of the good things and the what ifs, remember that is normal. We cannot answer why this has happened or why he hasn't called. The important thing to remember is that you will get through this whether together or not and you will be happy again one day. My boyfriend broke up with me 5 days ago. We have been together for 7 years. I cannot cope with the pain I'm going through. We had our problems but I was already to be his girl forever. I'm trying to get myself on track. I lost my life, home and boyfriend withing 24hr. We have 2 dogs togetherand he said I can see them anytime I want. I'm really struggling to understand it all. I've been thinking about our wedding. I've pick our our first dance song. The pain I feel I don't wish on my anyone. My ex-gf and i broke up about 2 years ago from a 1 year relationship. I had already gone through all the stages but i would start to miss her from time to time. I told myself that i forgiven her and accept that the relationship is long gone. Ever since the break up, i feel empty, numbness, emotionless, even after 2 years already. I feel like there's no love in this world anymore, like i dont want to love or be love by anyone anymore. I spent my day doing thing emotionless and sometime get a little sadness but that feeling go away within minutes. I still wonder to this day, why and how do i still feel emotionless, empty and cant seem to find happiness anywhere. My boyfriend and I broke up last week. One thing I learned is that you cannot control how someone feels. Unfortunately we had to end and all in all letting go is the best thing. I feel kinda empty but not really. Is there something wrong with me not feeling the way i should. I have experience this for the first time and I suffered a lot, crying,loneliness, stead of confusion, while I was sick. I was feeling that I will not be alive again because I thought it had never happened to someone as it happened to me. My partner and I just broke up, well sort of. She still wants to take me to her home country, doing weekend training rides. She just cant do the couple thing. This past weekend is the first time since we started seeing each other that I have not seen her. She is going away next weekend and wants me to look after her dog, cats, and fish. I normally stay at her place when I do that. I don't want to lose her, but I also not sure if I can cope with just being friends. I felt these emotions before, and going through them again right now. Though I seem to drift between the stages, but slowly moving down the list. But actually reading the stages, identifying and connecting gives me strength to feel that I'm not so unique and getting better. Hi thank you so much for your comment. Well it seems to me that you are already certain that this relationship is over. There is definitely no reason to keep her hanging on it will only hurt more in the end. If you are going to end it you have to end all ties because it would lead her to think that there is a chance and if you are sometimes hanging out and only make her feelings stronger. My advice would be to let her know that you respect her and want the best for her, though it is not you. And let her go for good or until at least she has moved on. I have an issue with my current girlfriend, we're together for one year but since I was in my country working she studied her masters abroad and things gotten worse since then, I know that she loves me so much as if her life depends on me, unfortunately I cannot accept that kind of love because we're uncertain about our marriage and if things don't go our way I know she will hurt so much. Currently our relationship is in very bad state because I told her that I'm focused on my work and need space not any relationship. So I said lets breakup it was really hard to say thatbut she refused, begging for another chance and I agreed in order to let her adapt in life without me I told her we will not hangout often because I'm busy. For me, the relationship is already ended but she still thinks she has a chance and when the day comes to tell her it's over I don't know how she'll react, I fear she'll do crazy things like following me or hurting herself. Can you give me a piece of advice please. After 3 year and looking at engagement rings it has come to an end. It has served me comfort that I have alot to look forward to and this shall come to past. If anything I think Im going to get some major energy, motivation and confidence out of this break up. It sounds crazy and weird but unicorns happens in the death of things. I am going through all these emotions and got a hard road ahead. Hope thiis pain goes away and that If we both remaine apart, that we can both find happiness. I am now feeling, probley all the above about now, scared to death. Thinking about my kids in all this but yes, going through all the emotions. Everyday I have to go to the places where we hung out and everything keeps flooding back. My ex of 7 months broke up with me 2x in 10 days. The first was over an issue I brought up more than once because it wasn't resolved for me. He called the next day and ended it, saying it was a bad sign of things to come. He also said he could probably put more effort into surprising me I'm guessing he meant like little gifts, flowers, etc. After our talk that day, he left the country for work he travels a lot. I was not comfortable with this really, because he is not the best at communicating while gone, and I was still feeling a little insecure from how he had just ended things. However, I really wanted to work it out. So, 3 days into his being gone, I heard from him in the morning and nothing more all day long. I figured he was most likely busy, but a quick text telling me so would have meant so much. I typically don't reach out when he is working, but it got the best of me and I texted him and said that maybe I misunderstood our conversation and that I didn't think I'd hear less from him when he left. Well that did not go over well at all. He came back with he was very busy and he is not going to text me every 4 hours to make sure I am happy in this relationship. I do not expect that and he knew that. He also said he doesn't think he can meet my communication needs in this relationship. I was pretty hurt with his response and told him I have never asked that of him, but it would have been nice to let me know that he was super busy and we could talk tomorrow. I went off a little, nothing horrible. I just said if he wants to make this work, let's make it work otherwise go and don't look back, Then Will i be ok after break up apologized and said I still wanted to talk this out. He texted the next day and ended it again. There has been no word and I've not contacted him either. I'm just sad but maybe it is for the best. I know this is a very hard time. The first love is probably the hardest emotionally I would say. It is even twice as hard when we did not even see it coming. There is no easy fix or solution to make you feel better right away. The main thing to think about is that you love the other person and want them happy no matter what. We have no control over how another person feels so sometimes we need to be strong and just let them go. Sometimes they will come back and sometimes we will have learned a lesson and move on. By not messaging her constantly you're actually giving her what she needs so if time is all she needs to think you're better off not contacting her right now. If you contact her while she is asking you not to she will get upset and maybe even frustrated. I know it feels like it's the end of the world, but no matter what happens between you and her you will be okay and you will find somebody else to love. I don't think you have to start a new relationship right away but definitely go out and enjoy yourself. When the time is right you'll either find somebody new or reunite with your ex if that's meant to be. Hey Jenn, this is an amazing article. My first ever girlfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me yesterday. I thought it would be forever. Though we had problems, it really came out of nowhere - I was ill, and busy, and one day she came to my dorm and said that's it. Since then, I have been alone, shocked, shaking, crying, having panic attacks, my heart physically hurts. Of course, reading this piece and others, I realise it will get better. She was such a huge part of my life - my best friend, my only best friend - the closest person to me, who knew my personality, feelings and life inside out. I am willing to give here time - I've said that I won't message her until she wants to talk. I'm just afraid that with each second that goes by, I am drifting further and further away from her life. I made mistakes in our relationship, but of course I still love her. She is my first kiss, my first lover - if anything, my first real friend. I never imagined this would happen - or that it would be this bad. I read things online but my situation feels unique. This year we started uni - she has made new friends, we haven't seen will i be ok after break up other as often though we're still fairly close and saw each other usually once every couple of weeks. I am willing to go through the whole process of healing and ultimately accept the break up and move on - but should I give it one more go. Should I move on, leave her alone, meet other people, but at some point try and try and reintroduce to her the person she once fell in love with. I can't imagine her with someone else. I, as a man, having one life and this being my first love, am not willing to give this easily - in my head it could still work - please some advice and supporting words would be amazing. Sorry for the extremely long story. Hi lostalone thank you for sharing. Has he given you any reason as to why he left. He does sound pretty confused or not being truthful. If you're going to work it outhe is going to have to at least talk to you and tell you what's going on. It's not fair to have you caught in between without the ability to move on. If he needs some time that's will i be ok after break up but let him know that you're feeling mixed emotions and that it's not fair to you. I know that one day in the near future you will find the right one and when you do you will see how strange the world works sometimes. But even though we go through tough times and hard relationship, I believe they are stepping stones and experiences to help us build something more solid and stronger in the future. All I know I think that my ex of almost 6 years is self centered. I don't think he gives one thought to me or could care less if I am dead or alive. Everything has to evolve around him. I have grown to learn that I made a huge mistake staying with him. He did a lot of things that hurt me. He ssid I was the first and only woman he had ever loved. He asked me to marry him and 2 months later, he is packing up all his things and movingg out of state. He gets fustrated, he can't take it anymore, he needs to get out and move out before he goes crazy. He needs helps and has refused it. At 17 yrs old he last his leg, its his fault driving on the freeway loaded on 20 plus valium, he deserve what he got. Drinking and driving, I lost count on how many D. He gets addicted to everything and he's proud of it. He worn me down with the same stories for almostt 6 years, his Sister got Murder, he lost both of hos parents not to much longer after his sister was shot 10 times in the face, so he says. I cauught changes in his stories, I caught him doing things when I would get home from work at 2:00 a. I walked into are room and I couldn't believe what I walked into. It killed my trust in him snd I knew I made a huge mistake moving in with him. Yes, I loved him and I do not have any love in my heart for him now. I will never trust him, he's a liar and I always felt and knew he was being sneaky behind my back when I wasn't around. I cut off all communication for 6 months, I decided to reach out and say hello. It was the biggest mistake I ever made. I had been working a lot on myself and I will meet the right man and give that msn my heart in due time. It will take time and patience. I will not jump into a relationship. Right now, its better to have a friend or friends to go out and do things with a special friend, but not to step over any boundaries that have been set. Time is needed and getting to really know each other and making sure that this is the right person. If they are excepting of the terms and respect my feelings that will be the guy I fall in love with and who will win my heart and all my love. But, Putting 6 years into a person, its going to take some time to work through it all and I am doing that and I am so much happier having him out of my life. He was a real pill to live with and I never got any sleep. Now, I am sleeping a bit better, but now I thinking about School and making a career from home. Going to move into my own place and start completely fresh and new. I think its important I get away from all thee negativity he left in my house. So I am looking for an will i be ok after break up and so far have found a few that I really like a lot. My family will only know whete I live. Anyways, i have grown, change and moved on and I look forawrd to meeting someone to go out to do things with. I am ready for that step and I will never talk about my ex to a new man in my life and I don't want to hear about there ex and either of us tell a bunch of sad stories but to focus on us and our future. Thants whete I am at and I'm proud of myself. There are plenty of good men out there. I'm just going to be smart and the right one will come along. Who is looking for the same thing as I am. I am 2 months down the line from a very difficult breakup. My will i be ok after break up of 8 years said she needed space to 'find herself' as she felt lost in our relationship. I found out 1 week later she was seeing another guy and they are now together. To make things worse he lives across the street and our young children are friends with his young children. I had to leave my family home who I shared with her and our two young girls to get a flat on my own. I now feel very lonely and disconnected from everyone because I have disappeared into my shell and don't want to come out. The fact that this all happened during the Christmas period has made it even worse for me. What I find difficult to accept is how she can move on so quick after 8 years and 2 children together, when I'm still sitting here struggling through every day thinking I will be lonely forever. I will admit we became distant maybe for the last year or so of our relationship but I didn't think it was this bad. My head is telling me to move on and start enjoying what I used to enjoy however my heart isn't letting me as I just feel so miserable all the time and can't find the energy to even leave the house. I question myself whether it is actually her that I miss or do I just miss being in a relationship. I know myself I have slowly come to terms with it but I feel a long long way off from ever moving on as not a day goes by where I don't feel sad, lonely and anxious. I'm sorry you are going through this. Hopefully she just needs some space. Sometimes when something really emotional going on close to home, people clam up and don't know how to react. If you say the argument was over nothing and your relationship is strong just let her know you will be there for her and let her have her time. That being said you have to go with what your heart feels. Do you think that you would be able to fix the issues. Maybe you are relived or maybe you are just pushing your emotions aside. It is possible that your heart is not in it anymore, and that is okay. But the best thing to do would be to discuss your emotions and feelings openly with him. If you do not neither of you will ever be happy. My boyfriend and I have been dating for the past 7years and we have two handsome boys. We broke up on Saturday because I feel less appreciated and disrespected. Will i be ok after break up wanted us to talk about it but when I told him I was tire of his behaviour towards me he said that we can break up since well I am tired. We never spoke to each other until this morning wen he called to check on the boys. My problem is, I want to cry about it and let it go but I am feeling empty inside. I worried this might affect me in the near future. What should I do or how should I handle this situation. I left my girl friend on Friday night. Her friend left vodka at my place and wanted me to bring it to her. She asked multiple times and each time I was busy. Eventually I told her I'm not a delivery guy and I'm not going to drive it to your place when you also have a car. I called then texted my now ex saying that we needed to have a serious talk about some of our communication issues among other things and instead of returning my call she shows up at my door telling me they want their alcohol. I asked her to come in and talk to me first and she said no just give us the booze. I said I'm not giving it to you and then she demend money for it so I said no again. It felt like she was literally trying to bottle up all our problems. I said is this really how this ends and she said I guess so. If I'm not worth half a handle of shitty vodka then she's not worth my time. How could i love someone who won't let me in. I honestly think she was still hooked on her ex and I was just the sucker who got played. I was so confused on why he became angry. He told me to stop calling him so I began to cry and feel angry. I went to his house at 12am to tell him a piece of my mind and he wasn't there so I waited and parked my car to see who he was with when he came home he was with his friend and he began to ask me why I parked my car in someone else driveway, he said I was stalking and he cursed me out then told me to leave. Yes I was wrong for showing up but I know him whenever we give each other space he cheats. This time I was going to call him out on it; only to look like an idiot because I began lying about why I parked at a different driveway but he knew I was lying. I apologized but he just looked at me. I was her first kiss and first will i be ok after break up love. And I told her from day one that Im serious about her and won't be playing around. We used to fight sometimes, but a single miss u msg would sort thing out. I went back home and she started texting me after a couple of days, I accepted her apology and even spoke to my parents that I love this girl and really considered getting engaged. When she knew about it she was so happy and said that even if we don't get engaged soon it's ok as long as I'm serious and my parents know about her. She even started talkin to my mom as sisters. Then I tried to call and she said that everything is over, I told her no it is not we have to talk, she refused. I tried to contact her after some days and she didn't answer, I even sent her flowers to her work and she refused them. Suddenly after 2 days she texted me that she's gonna get engaged soon and that I shouldn't call her and cause her troubles 2 weeks after the silly fight. I was shockedddI tried to call her maybe 60 times and sent like 10 messages and no answer. I didn't beleive her first as i thought she's playing me. I kept trying to call and text for 1 week I even texted a lot on valentine's eve. I paniced, felt knives cutting my heart. I texted her saying that she is such a cheater and doesn't deserve my love. I cried as well but said I couldn't take her back. After 2 days I called her to say that in case we could go back she should call the engagement off. She said yes but she can't bcz her father will get mad and i should propose directly after she leaves the other guy. I refused sure and told her that we should wait a couple of months before we get engaged to cool the fire and for the sake of both parents. She refused and went to say that she would stick to the other guy and that she left me bcz of this and that I always tease her. I tried to call later and no answer. Until one day i texted her and she replied that i should forget her and she's gonna get married. I saw her that day for 5 mins in a mall i hold her hands with tears in my eyes. She promised she will try her best to convince her father to leave that guy, but deep inside me I knew that won't happen and the father will refuse. My doubts were true he refused and she told me we should forget each other and that she loves me and hates the other guy. I felt shattered, lost and wished to die. I knew it's over so I planned a vaccation with friends to Thailand but though before I leave I should see her. I went to her will i be ok after break up stared at her for 5 mins and she said that I shouldn't be there. I left with tears and she called me before I boardeed tha plane and said she loves me and would never forget me in her life, but said that she would never regret anything cz she tried her best with her father, I said that this is not true and if she loved me how can she take a big decision like that knowing that it will end everything and even I asked her to come with me and run from everything and she said she wishes she can. I left to thailandfirst 4 days were nice. Then I suddenly started to imagine her in every nice place I visit. Last 2 days were horrible, I even started having dreams of her making love to the other guy and that killed me big time. So I went back decided to talk to her for the last time. So I went to her work and she told me not to come inside. She called from her office asking why did I come to see her. I told her that i still lover her and that she should fight for our love and I would do anything to be together, she said there is no hope, and that she started to get annoyed from my visits and that if I didn't stop she will call her parents and tell them. I even felt worse that day, took another 1 week off work and went to my home country. I was s down even my family were concerned, I had dreams every day checked my mobile for any msgs. I still have bad dreams of her making out with the other man on a daily basis. And I think of her whenever I see any couple or any love related pictures. Note: the other guy is totally not her type but he is financially good as her parents tell her. Im a good looking guy as many say with a decent job as well. Can she really love me and take these decisions and spend her life with another guy eventhough she says that she loves me. I thought we had many things in common and we used to say that eventhough we fight a lot but our love is stronger than all. I mean I don't deserve to be treated like that I get angry sometimes but 1 text from her would solve it all. I feel I lost the loveof my life and can't thing about getting soon with a girl other than her. Sorry for the long story but it was even tougher though. My lover has ended our 10 year affair. I understand is not an ideal relationship but both of us were not happy in our marriages and it just happens. All of a sudden he told me he can't do it any longer, live two lives and called it quits. I am devastated, he was a very big part of my life and now I want to be dead. I know that is a hard situation and I know there is a lot of pain involved. It is going to hurt for a while, I will not lie. Sometimes life is strange and things happen for no apparent reason we think. There is no magic that will make the hurt go away, and it sucks but just remember that the time you spent together was special. These times will always be a part of you, but one day you will find love again and create new memories, maybe even your own family. It does not mean that he did not care for you, maybe he just feels he wants to be with his children. Make sure you give yourself time to heal, if you need to cry that is ok, but make sure that you stay healthy and keep yourself busy. Take the next few months and learn about yourself and what you want out of life. Sometimes people in our lives hold us back from what we really want and these events can be a blessing is disquise. My bf left me and get back with his ex gilfriend the mom of his kids. We commited ourselves for nearly 2 years and had a lot of plans together. He met her after 2 years and just like that they got back together and shut me out of his life like a blink of an eye. That happened last dec 27 and I saw him for the last time last 12 days ago but I knew his decisions wont change so I let him go telling him to be with them and now Its just 9 days since the last time I talked to him and he is happy with his family now. Pain is killing me everyday and am having a hard time right now. I know he wont coming back all i want for him is to be happy and for me to move on without him in my life. I dnt know how to forget him but I know I can i just need more time. I know being away from the one we love can be really hard and confusing, but if I have learned anything is it is that no matter how how we try, no matter what we do, we cannot make another persons feelings change. So if he wants space right now then that is what you need to give him. Just remember even if he comes back to your right now without his heart fully in it, you both will not be happy and in a sense would be wasting time. Try the best to do things for yourself and try to learn to start a life without him. Of course it will be different, but you will come through it. If in the future it is meant to be then it will be. Before the relationship could ever work again, both of you, on your own needs to work through personal issues you are having. Not to say that you cannot forgive him for cheating, but unless you are really able to get past that and get to a point where you can let it go, there will always be arguments about that. I was in a relationship for 10 years and when we first split I felt my life was ruined. On the contrary, I found another person who has made me feel like I have never felt before and my past relationship is just a memory of the past with no pain what so ever. You can be strong and will get through it. I gave him the kind of young love which is impossible to replace. For it happened on the age that we can never can get back. This is so inspiring to know I am not the only one going through this phase. My bf and I were together going on 3 years, but we were the best of friends years before in high school. He was my everything, my best friend and most importantly apart of my family. I did not have a relationship with my family and his mother and family treated me like their own. We started our relationship doing the long distance thing. I was in California and he was in Louisiana. We would travel back and forth to visit one another and just invested a lot of time together. After about a year and half I moved back to Louisiana to obtain my nursing degree. We were both in college which made it a little more difficult. He always said I was a city girl and he was a country boy but I loved him because we were so different, which I felt made us right for one another. After about a year and a few months with me being in Cali, he wanted us to take a break because the distance was getting to him. However, we were still texting and communicating everyday. He then eventually told me, after two days of me moving here that he had been talking to someone else and they had kissed but he did not want to be with her because he genuinely loved me. I was so confused about the situation and did not know what to think. After a week, I decided that we could work past it and move on, so we began dating again. He then a couple months later around Christmas accused me of cheating because he saw an old photo in my room, which at that point changed the relationship. He wanted to be with me but he didn't know what to believe but we got over that situation, because I really was not cheating. He always said Karma is real but he didn't understand that I did not want to see him hurt. After the Christmas incident, he decided he wanted space again. However, we never gave it to one another. The phone calls, the visits, the web calls continued. Months passed and things just didn't see the same with us. I was so fearful to give him my heart again because I did not know his next step. I became distant and so did he. I finally said a week ago, we should let it each other go because I felt he just didn't want the relationship anymore. The texts were dry and so were the calls and time was limited. Throughout everything I still wanted to be with him. He agreed to let each other go, because he was feeling the same but he felt with time it would change. He kept saying the feeling was mutual but it wasn't when I told him that wasn't really what I wanted he just wanted to let it go. A week passed and he messaged me informing will i be ok after break up that he wanted to meet and talk. However the talk, went downhill. He kept saying that I never went fishing with him except once and said that his brother's girlfriends go with them. I understood his love for fishing and I felt that was his time to be with his brothers and family. I told him if he wanted me there he should have said something, I would have loved to go with him if he would have told me. He argued me down and said he shouldn't have to ask it should be expected. He went on and said we have nothing in common, that he was a simple guy and I was above, how I showered him with gifts to show my love and affection for not always being there, and that cared too heavily on what others thought. I was and am still devastated. I told him that he knew all this about me prior to dating me. He said that the relationship wasn't the same for the past four months and still he never said anything until after we broke it off. While dealing with this his mother told me he was going through things with his dad, and within a year of him graduating from college he decided to drop out and join the army. I know he is going through a tough time and even through all the hurtful things he said to me, I told him I was there for him and I honestly wish him well. I have felt all the stages and still going through the stages. Its hard to let someone go who you truly love. I always wanted to make him happy and I went out of my way even with me being in nursing school to show him I wanted to be with him but I felt he felt that wasn't enough. He said we didn't have anything in common but we traveled together, made dinners, went walking out to see the stars, the movies,bowling, anything you can think of we did. So for him to bring up just that about fishing, i was really upset. He made it seem like I never wanted to go with him when all he could have done was asked. He kept bringing up how i always wanted to shop and go to the movies, but I didn't. He made me seem like I was this high maintenance chick that never wanted to get dirty but I was. His mother and my friends are saying give him time, he will be back and he would finally realize what he has was good but I do not believe that. He was so hurtful to me, and its definitely hard because when I go home during the holidays its to his mother's house and he is there. He has made sure to always check on me and make sure I was safe after my trips back and forth. Though we have broken up for a week now I am feeling so much, I thinking why did this have to happen. We were so close despite what he felt. I know i will be strong will i be ok after break up day but I just keep wanting the pain to go away. I know eventually we will see each other but it will be so hard. I do want the best for him, I just wish he was honest with me a long time ago instead of holding it for so long. He said he didn't want to hurt me since I had already been through so much but at the end of the day he was hurting me by not telling me. I felt our only problem was mis-communication and fear, we never stated what we wanted. I guess I keep thinking there is hope for us but only time will tell. I just pray I can get through this because I do need to focus on my responsibilities, I know one day we will be friends but just can't be right now. I lied to my fiancé of five years about not watching a certain movie when I did. She stormed out and refuses to meet with me or speak to me over the phone. She will respond to texts but only with short answers. She tells me I lied and she can't forgive me for that. I have apologized and owned the mistake. I am at a loss as to how she can be so cold and distant when just a week prior we were making wedding arrangements. I would just say that be proud of yourself for spoiling her on her Birthday, it was something very nice you did and I am sure she will remember it. Maybe your are right and another man will never love her the way you did. But just think, you may meet a girl that you love even more than this girl and you will start to wonder how much you really loved Kate after all. I am a strong believer of people coming in our lives for reasons, sometimes to teach us something and move on and sometimes forever. Thank you so much for replying to my post. Even though Kate who I dated for 6 months never yelled or raised her voice to me on the phone during our final conversation, her hurtful words must be coming from her anger towards me. I only wish I knew that she felt being in a relationship was a hindrance to her personal growth before I spoiled and pampered her on her birthday a Broadway show, dinner, flowers, and I started her day off with an hour massage that I gave her myself which was a week before we split. I am still feeling hurt and lonely but I also feel like if someone doesn't care enough about me when I am down, I shouldn't waste too many more tears on them. It will take a while to get over her, I'm sure. But I doubt that any future boyfriend will love her and care for her as much as I will i be ok after break up. Hi Tommy, I am sorry you are going through this. I do not know her at all, but it seems to me like there is something going on because of the not so kind words she was using towards you. Maybe she just needs some alone time. There are many relationships that do not turn out the way we hoped or wanted, but it does not mean there is anything wrong with us. If you still feel in your heart you want to be with her then time is all you have to give at this point. Reevaluate your situation, your own wants and needs. I do not know how long you were together, but sometimes it can take a very long time to get to the point of getting back together. Grieve all you need to but remember this is a great time for yourself. Relationships are about give and take, and we cannot change a person remember that. Also remember if we really care about a person, we would want what's best for them, with or without us. Thank you for writing this very helpful and insightful piece. My ex broke up with me right before X-Mas because I got mad at her for not being there for me one night I called her in tears and she told me she was too busy doing laundry to let me come over. I wound up shutting her out and when we spoke a week later, instead of an apology, I got slammed with reasons why we should not be together - I'm not smart enough, we have nothing in common except going to the beach, and I don't act my age. I tried my best to be as supportive, understanding, generous and sweet to her as a boyfriend could be. But when she told me she always felt like being in a relationship got in the way of one's personal growth, I knew that we'd never get back together - I was viewed as an obstacle. It's 3 weeks now and I feel guilty, abandoned, and hopeless. I am sorry Lost Girl that you are going through this. It is very hard and really does suck but you will make it. Believe me I understand the feeling of what am I suppose to do now. What you need to do for now is allow yourself time to heal. It is really ok to cry and be upset. I would not hide those feelings or keep them locked inside. I know that one day you will feel great again. It is wonderful that you have friends to support you. When one door closes another one opens. Just think about the wonderful things that are in store for you in the future. Your article really opened my eyes on the process I'm going through. We broke up there's about 2 weeks, a little before our 4th year anniversary. It's really hard, but this article reassure me that what I'm feeling is actually normal and that I will survive, even tho I really don't know what I'm supposed to do now. When you live with your boyfriend and see him almost every day, it becomes your way to live, your daily life, what you're used to. To lose that from a day to another is really shocking. The second one lasted for almost 4 years. The last one lasted for 3 months. The first two breakups were hard on both of us, but I got over the heartbreak fairly quickly. The last one, even though it only went for 3 months, has been devastating. I'm still grieving the loss and it hurts like hell. I'm glad to find out that there's more people who go through all of this. I just wished that more of these articles were written by men. It almost seems as if girls are the only ones allowed to mourn the loss of a partner or go through heartbreak, when I know as a certainty that this is not the case. Anyhow, thanks for sharing your experience and helping the rest of us will i be ok after break up some hope. I am sorry you are going through this. It is so hard especially when a person has been a part of your life for so long. Unfortunately sometimes we will never know why these things happen. Sometimes people just have a change of heart and there is nothing we can do to change it even if we try our hardest. I am not sure if you ever want to be with him again, but I say for now just give him the time he needs. Maybe he is going through something and things will turn around and he will figure out what he really wants. In the mean time, work on yourself, learn about yourself and even though it will be hard, you will come out of this learning so much about yourself. My boyfriend of 10 yrs just broke up with me and has another girl who is everything to him. I was his everything and just can't understand if it just got old. New is exciting but old is supportive, caring, and loyal. They have already been on and off 5 times in 3 months. It won't last, but his oldie me won't be there for him anymore. Hi Ella, it is really hard to deal with a breakup and it is going to hurt. But you can and will start realizing that in order for the relationship to have worked out, you both had to be happy and ready for the relationship. Even though you might have been happy, and do not quite understand why he wasn't there is nothing that you can do to change it. You must make sure you take care of yourself, and if in the future you are able to talk and being together is something you both want, then maybe then it could be. Give yourself time to cry and grieve, if you hide it or try to jump into another relationship it will only make it worse. Believe me you will be ok and if it is meant to be it will, if not, you have lived and learned and it will only make you stronger. Hi, ive been with my boyfriend was a long distance relationship. What you have to do is very hard, but if you are not happy, I am sure that she is able to feel that in the relationship as well, and the longer you hold on the longer it will hurt to let go. If you are sure that it will not work out, then maybe it is best if you do let her go. It will hurt, and you need to give yourself time to heal afterward but it is not fair to either of you if your heart is not in it. Crikey I have to have 'the talk' with my gf of 7 years this week. It's going to really hurt her. I have been putting this off for 4 years, because I did not want to fell the pain, and neither did I want her to fell it. I have constantly told myself my love for her will return, and I'll give it another few months etc etc etc. I just want to get it done and leave with dignity. Yes I would take the post down. Just filling in the emptiness is not going to allow you to heal. You cannot start another relationship until you are ready. Please know that you will be ok, and it is going to take a while. It sounds silly, but I am reading it over and over, to make sure I have given proper attention to every part of it, and to gain deeper understanding of each section. My mind went crazy, and I posted an ad on dating site to fulfill my emotional needs 2 days ago. And now, I am feeling much better after I read your post. It is good that you are really strong Phenomenal woman. Some people are just more emotional than others about these things. It also depends on how long the relationship lasted, how healthy the relationship was, how much you loved the person etc. So you are right, different people will go through different stages. This is crazy,but so true in certain aspects. I took the break will i be ok after break up pretty well. Went through the denial and anger stage but did not call at all during these stages. Then got drunk the other day,went by his house at 3:00am,only to find,he wasn't there,I got upset all over again,thinking,he's with someone new already,it's only been a week. Started crying and texting him. Then the next day,left him a message saying. I apologize for the messages,I respect your decision and won't be calling anymore. I guess that was my crazy stage. I changed my number,so he wouldn't call and disrupt my healing process. I still think of him and miss him,but I have a life to get back to,I'm actually doing pretty good. But he texted me during the break up and he's been seen by me and my family members,driving by the house. Which makes it a little harder for me,but I'll be ok. Thank you Sally for your comments. I know exactly how this feels because I to have been through this. Yes in order to ever get to this place, we have to change the way we think. I know it can will i be ok after break up the hardest thing ever to do. I understand though that we as people cannot change the way another person feels no matter how hard we try. I personally have learned that as well Even though the love might never fully go away, we can eventually be at peace knowing that we will be ok. Yes it might actually take years to get over a person that was a major part of our lives, but the time will come when you will actually be able to smile at the memories instead of cry. Truer words were never spoken, Jenn. But these are words readily agreed to only once you have come through this pain; while you are in the middle of it, they are almost impossible to believe. So I put myself up here as an example will i be ok after break up your right words I'm sure many others could as well : It took me nearly ten years to smile instead of cry about the memories of my ex. I wonder if there isn't something much greater than the I with its consciousness that does eventually turn the bitterness into acceptance and even fondness. Perhaps this ability to get beyond the hurt and bitterness is something that's wired into us via genes, and at some point it kicks in and begins to heal, despite our attempts to do otherwise. Anyone in will i be ok after break up middle of a hurt like this needs to hear your words, over and over again, even though there may be denial in the hearing. You will be much stronger than you were before and you would have learned a lot about what you need and want. This is so true, so long as you let it happen, even if you think it won't.

You fear that you will have nobody to talk to. So often, its a way to keep the communication channel open and satisfy his curiosity about your availability. Repeat positive self-affirmations to yourself. Eze Malaka and i pick his email and told him the problem that i was going through, and he agreed to help me and told me never to worry. He kept saying the feeling was mutual but it wasn't when I told him that wasn't really what I wanted he just wanted to let it go. What if instead of attempting to distract yourself with someone else, you gave yourself enough time to get to know this version of yourself? Many think the opposite of love is hate, actually that is not correct. I changed my number,so he wouldn't call and disrupt my healing process.